答應?

最後一班電車之後的寂靜路上, 一個人影子卻反映著兩個人的悲傷 在那一個夏天的夜晚,我立定決心以後也不再見你. 絕對,絕對不要再見. 我當時相信,只要在你身邊就可以快樂. 今夜就讓我們這樣吧,直到我不再喜歡你為止. 最後的一吻,雖只是輕輕碰到,但已經狠狠地刺傷我了. 在我決意忘掉你之前.我的愛已經滿溢了. 可以抱我嗎? 用你的雙臂 就算只餘下一秒也好 就連和你吵架 就連妒嫉你,甚至見你一面也不可以…… 說起來真的很奇怪呢, 為什麼人總是作出不可能實現的承諾? 明明早知道連著心的線,早就已經切斷了…. 你最後的說話.實在太溫柔了,令我更加心痛呢 我們兩個人都太了解對方了. 可以抱我嗎?可以躺在我胸前,讓我在母親般摸摸你的頭髮嗎? 就連在你旁邊微笑,就連睡在你身邊,就連呼叫你的名字也做不到了­… 我和你的約定,不是要切斷連著我和你的線 只是答應你,我會安靜下來吧.. 可以緊緊抱著你嗎? 用你的雙臂 就算只餘下一秒好 就連和你吵架 就連妒嫉你,甚至見你一面也不可以…… 就算多麼想見你也好, 就算不能呼吸也好. 我答應過不再叫喚你 我們約好了,所以我不會再叫喚你的…

this is copied from a friend of mine which he in the same position as me right now...  we are the same kind of people who are blinded by love... we dont know anything else apart from seeing our other half happy... we become lost in the the relationship...  we be come weak...  we dont know what to do...  we just know we love you...   please dont leave...  

A Game ?

Does anyone think life itself is like a video game ?? You as the main character, trying to complete the game(reach the highest point in your life), every quest you have in the game is like a problem in life some are easy but some not, is like there's different level of quest for your character level. When you reach a sirton level, you can only complete sirton quest( when you growing up there will be problem that you have to face even though you don't want to, you think you not ready for it or why it is you that have to sort it out !?
That the real life... there are problem for you to sort out everyday no matter what. You can't just save it for another day then go back to it when you feel like it the longer you drag on the harder it become but That don't mean if you sort out the problem fast is a good way.
There are no other way to sort out problem better than KNOW your problem, THINK about your problem, plan HOW to sort your problem then action SORT your problem ( find the quest that you want to do then learn about your quest then work on your quest then action try and complete the quest ) it look simple right ?? But how many people actually know their problem then think then plan then sort it out ?? Some may get to plan but then when it come to sort it out ? It could go wrong ?? There are no defo out come for a problem is like there are no defo reward for your quest. It don't mean you should give up though just mean try a better way to sort out the problem ? Work around your level then try to finish the quest ?
Life and video game are really alike some can master the game but can they master their life ? Can the one who master their life and master the game too ?? Who know !?

Day 5....

i havtn been speaking to her or seeing her her 5days now... im going crazy !!  i dont know what to do !!  im really confuse !!  should i look for her ?  should i let her be herself ?  what should i do !!??!?
 i dont know what to do !! ;'(   i want to talk to her but i dont want her to be annoy at me is enough that she dont trust me i dont want her to be annoy aswell... !!  i dont know what to do !!  this is killing me "!1
 so much shit happening at the same time i dont know what to do !!  i dont know how to sort it out !!  im too weak to face all this by myself, i really want her to be by myside !!  i dont know what to do !! i really want her back !!

i miss her so much !!  i want to speak to her !! i want to see her !! i want to hold her hand !! i want to tell her i love her and i mean it !  

i dont know what to do !!  please help me !  some one....!!    i only got 2 person i can fully trust but now i lose 1 i only got 1 left... !!   help me !!

another day...

just a short one today...  

it almost been 4 days now that i havnt speak to her seeing her...   i dont know what to do... !!  im going crazy over her !!  i cant stop thinking about her !!   everyone get a wish on Xmas dont they ???  

 I wish her wish will come true.... 

world end ?

21/12/2012...
do you believe the world going to end on the 21st ?

i know it sound stupid but what if it does happen ??
what if the last thing i did was having a argument with her ??
 what if i dont get to see her again ??
im really sorry babe...
really sorry...

if the world does end...
i really want to spend every last sec with you holding your hand really tight and say 'i love you'
that will be the last thing i wanted to do maybe you have something different than me, i dont mind that i just want to see you smile for the last time kiss you for the lsat time hug you tight for the last time.

i know you still mad at me or dont feel comfortable around me but those are my last wishes.
nothing more just those will do...

you are the best thing happen to my life, i really enjoy every second with you.

i cant say it in your face right now but i really do love you from the deepest of my heart...
really want to see you right now and tell you it but then again you popularly got bored of listen to it...  who am i killing... im just a stupid kid to you nothing more...

my L bear princess i love you...  

wish things can work out between us

dont know how to start this post you know...
 so much stuff hadhappen...
i really dont know how to explain it
 recently there so much shit happen in my life that have effect my own personal life and my work life too and atm only 1 person supporting me really... hope she wont give up on me too....
 i know i joke around and dont take thing seriously all the time but what happen at this point it really hurt me that she dont believe a word im saying... i now understand when you dont take things seriously normally when stuff do happen no one believe you no one will give a shit about you.

im hurt badly  by what she said yday. never hurt that bad b4.  i know im stupid do stupid things and make you worry and mad all the time but i dont mean to. i dont mean to do it against you.  everything i do is trying to make you happy but it always go the wrong way and you take it in and never forget it. i really dont know what to do... i trying really hard to change but it just really slow !  i cant just change like in a sec.  i dont know what to do anymore...  everything i do just go in your mind the wrong way...

now im all by myself facing the worse in my life and you not there to support...  nothing i can ask now all i wanted now is you are safe everyday... nothing more... dont wish you coming back to me dont wish you forgiving me i just want you to be safe everyday you know why.

nothing more i can say now...  going off myself to finish the day off now...  please take care my love one.
wish you the best and safe and sound everyday.

im sorry for being in your life in the first place...

My life are over...

I blow my final warning up.. That it... I'm over... No more looking forward to join the team... I'm so useless !!! I really can't help it ! I'm really tired !! I really want to give up... I'm tired... I can't do this anymore.

不孝子...

I've been feeling down for the pass two days now... Is not getting any better... Maybe I forget about it for like an hour or two but it always come back to me and it get worse every time it come back...

Two days ago...
While talking to my sister on the phone asking her to help me to buy a present for my girlfriend, out of no where we started to talk about our mother, she was saying how annoying she is and she don't buy her stuff only buy stuff for me... But I never ask her to buy me anything I havnt spoken to her for many years, not just 2-3.... About 8-9years until two days ago I call back to check if she ok and stuff because my siste told me mom is in hospital call to see if she ok or not... So I called...

Phone was raining and my mind was blank... I don't know what to say !? But then...

We only had a little chat just to see is each other ok... How things are going with each other life and the conversation ended in 3mins and 6second... That was the worse conversation ever in my life !! All I said was "ok" , "good" , "I will, I will dont worry". Nothing else I didn't ask if she was ok or anything. Am I fuck up or what !? I'm so fuck up in the head ! That my mom !? That's the women who gave birth to me ! I didn't ask if she was ok or not !? Just giving her cold answer !? I really do hate myself ! I really do... !! Am i really cold hearted or what !? I really want to go back to check on my mom ! But I can't... what can I do !? I don't want to regret later on... !!

I want to cry at night but then if I do my girlfriend will be worry and sad I don't want to see that happen either... I really don't know what to do... I'm scare that I'll regret it later... But I don't want my girlfriend to be upset because of my problem...
But I can't keep it from her too I promise her I would tell her everything... I should tell her like I have promised....

Guess things can never go the way you want right ?
Never break a promise even if is just a little one... It could mean a lot to the person you have promised to...

關係----愛情

when you in a relationship, you always think of how to make the other half smile... but really ?? it is that easy ?
there's always stuff happen when you don't expect it... argument ?  fight ? worse...  break up straight away, no second chance.

there's people who treat relationship as a joke, such as player. they the one who ruin  a lot happy relationships with a selfishness in their mind. because all they wanted was a person to mess with, play with. they dont really care about how you feel, they just do whatever they want, BUT why can they get away with it !?

theres the one who care so much about the other half and have a short relationship. i mean why do bad things always happen to those who can have a good long lasted relationship??
bad things happen to the good one, what about those who mess about with it?  they can have as much fun as they want and no need to care for the other half feeling, what do they get out of it?  fun? joke? i mean the one who get hurt is not you guys! why do such a thing to the one who truly love you!?

分手

分手係一件傷心事，但與其要困在一段不愉快的關係，離場又未嘗唔係一條出路。專家話，雖然冇科學方法計算一段感情的分手指數，但一段瀕危的感情往往出現好多徵狀。

如果以下有多個情況持續發生於你身上，專家建議，你係時候考慮離開了！

1. 你無法從關係中得到所需。
無論愛情、安全感、承諾或性等方面不被滿足，跟另一半反映亦於事無補。你唔快樂，佢亦唔會飲得杯落。

2. 你唔想跟另一半溝通。
無論用邊種方法：見面、對話、寫訊息等等，你認為同佢溝通係一件麻煩事，唔想了解，即係對佢失去興趣。

3. 你唔期待跟另一半相處。
寧願將僅有嘅空閒花喺拍拖以外嘅活動，又或者你哋保持性生活，但做愛前後冇兩句，足見有意拉遠彼此距離。

4. 你對另一半有彈冇讚。
戀愛中人通常會無視對方嘅瑕疵，甚至將缺點視為優點；相反地，當你討厭某人時，見佢背面就憎埋佢前面。同一道理，如你專挑剔佢嘅雞毛蒜皮小事，不難想像你有幾愛佢。

5. 你把男友跟其他男人比較。
愛一個人，眼中只有對方，根本冇比較嘅空間。

6. 你嘗試改變你的另一半。
世間難有絕配，佢性格好可能跟自己相差甚遠，愛得深，包容越多，否則你會有意無意將佢改到滿意為止。

7. 你唔再笑。
幽默有助滋養關係，但如果他的笑話令你再笑唔出（連扮都懶），又或者你倆冇愉快輕鬆嘅對談，可見呢段關係已失去活力。

8. 你只付出（或只接收）。
一段健康的關係，應該兩個人同樣有得著，而唔係一人受惠。

9. 你的朋友唔喜歡同你倆聚會。
朋友未必討厭你的伴侶，但可能對你哋之間的化學作用反感。旁觀者清，當一段關係出現問題時，朋友嘅反應或意見絕對可以幫你認清現實。

10. 你唔再喜歡自己。
回想一下熱戀時的你，充滿自信、喜樂，又注重保養。若你冇晒呢啲正面思想，又冇動力扮靚，甚至開始討厭自己，愛情對你或已失去功能，唔能夠再推動你前進。

Memorise.

If i had not met you that day...
I would not have experienced that sorrow,
and memorise filled with tears...
But, if i had not met you
I also would not have experienced the joy,
excitement,
and the feelings of absolute happiness...

How are you now?
I...
still love the vast blue sky,
when...
We looking up,
while we lying down next to each other...

Bad start for today !

Woke up on time(7:45)... Get ready and everything before 8... Then starting to leave my house. Guess what ?? 1 bus went pass then I thought I take the next one then. 2mins later... Another bus... So I ran to the next bus stop which is quiet far... About 6more step the bus close the door and drives off ! What a dick ! At the bus stop waiting for 30mins! No bus ! Wtf ! When I dont need it, is there! When I do need it, it never there !!
Haiiii.... What a great start of the day enit... !?

後果.

如果你知道你同自己鐘意的人一齊會發生意外，你會不會和她一齊嗎？

自私的人會為左一時快樂，而令都他們喜歡的人遇到意外。但是，起碼他們有個一些一起開心快樂的回憶呀。

但是不應同的人會覺得，如果他們一齊的話，而會令到對方發生意外，就會想盡方法不和她一起而放棄。 係會唔開心，但是我可以做到什麼呀？